I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
