fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
