Its about making memories worth repressing
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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