you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
