Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
