nut hugger
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
