So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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