her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
ok first of all what the fuck
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
