yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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