he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
