I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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