Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
