Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she looked like the before picture.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Randomize
