shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's never too late to be topless.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They have beer where we have blood.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
