Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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