i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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