Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
