Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
