my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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