I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
