I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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