Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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