God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
