youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
