let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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