I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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