Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
