just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
