Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
