wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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