Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
