The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
