the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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