we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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