Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
