im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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