It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
