Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
