butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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