At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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