how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
