so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
