Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
