so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
