Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
