Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
