roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
