on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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