What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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