We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
