Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
